I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
