What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
