One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I looked at my own cervix.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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