Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
