Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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