im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
