Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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