i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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