hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
