i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
