I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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