you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
