we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
