Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
