my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
