i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
