East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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