I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
