Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
