nut hugger
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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