if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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