im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
cat food counts as protein by the way
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You should frame my arrest warrant.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize