can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Randomize
