Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize