I should be sponsored by Trojan
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
