You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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