come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
