I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
