Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Damn victory sex feels great
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
