ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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