sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
