that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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