i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
