im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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