You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
