i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
