i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
