So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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