Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
