he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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