You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
