Walk of Shame. In a state park.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
