My liver just broke up with me...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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