I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
