She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My life is pants optional.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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