So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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