You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
