I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
