1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
