Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
