hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
