Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
