I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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