Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
