Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
