Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize