i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
