Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
