it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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