to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
