i barfeds in our rink
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
