let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My dick has a subreddit
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
