Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
